Friday, March 16, 2012

When will you be done?

I hate this question. It is because I don't know. I've been going to college for the past four years, taking one or two classes at a time, and if I don't quit my job and go full time, I'll still be doing the same thing for the next six years.

I'm not a teenager. I don't live scott-free at my parent's house. I wasn't given a BMW when I graduated from highschool. I am an adult, so I can't say, "I'm getting a four-year degree" despite the fact that I am getting a four-year degree.

It also makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. "How many classes are you taking this semester?" Well, technically I'm taking one, although it's a class with a lab. Then I feel like I'm not taking enough classes.

And then the looks I get when I say that I'm taking biology. "Oh, biology! Oh, I hate that class! What's your major?" Um...biology? "Oh. Oh, then I guess you like it."

Yes, I like it. I feel like using an expletive for how much I like it. I effing like it. My lab partner makes fun of how excited I get when we do our experiments. yes, I quite enjoy biology. I can't wait to take chemistry. I imagine that this idea is the same as when someone tells me they're a maths major, only I never think, "Why in the world would you want to do that?" Instead, I'm jealous becuase they are clearly good at maths and I'm clearly not.

I think that this is the point where most veterinary medicine students roll their eyes and say, "I really hate humans."

I don't hate humans, though. I mean, there are many that I do not like and only a small select group that I do like, but my cat doesn't like any of his own species so I don't think this is unique to humans.

On Monday, I was talking to a lady in this new bible study I'm going to, and she listened to me. She wanted to know my major and what my plans were. She didn't ask the dreaded question, she just let me talk. Then she turned to this guy in the group and said, "Did you know Heidi is going to college?" and he said yes. "Do you know what her major is? Heidi, tell him your major." I said it. "Isn't that interesting?" she asked. "I've never known anyone who has wanted to be a zookeeper and work at a zoo. Do you?" she asked the guy. He said his daughter wants to be an ornithologist. I confessed that I considered birds as my major focus of study.

I don't know how these two managed to talk to me without making me feel defensive, but they did. I think it was because they listened, and they were more interested in what I was doing rather than how long it would take. I wished I had a Pensieve from Harry Potter so I could analyze the conversation and see what they did to make me feel so good. I mean, that's how I want to make people feel.

I think, and I could be wrong because I'm a terrible conversationalist, but I think what they did was just listen to me and be interested in me. This is my goal: to treat other people like that.


  1. What they did to make you feel good: paid attention to YOU and your goals, instead of hearing only "college" and immediately judging by a typical standard. They acknowledged the different course your life is taking, explored that, and recognized how awesome your plans are.

    My two cents. ;)