Thursday, May 17, 2012

Fifty Shades of Puke

I keep circling this book.

On the one hand, I know it's going to be horrible.

1. The chances that a fanfiction writer has actually researched the complexity of the D/s relationship is highly doubtful.

2. The chances that a Twilight fan would know any position other than Missionary is highly doubtful.

3. The chances that a Twilight fanfiction writer can write good BDSM in a coherent way is highly doubtful.

4. The chances that a Twilight fanfiction writer can fill in the rest of the book with a coherent plot is highly doubtful.


5. The chances that I would enioy this book in any way is highly doubtful, and my friend Cassandra always says I write better reviews when I hate the book so

6. I might just do it.

Edit: I just found this quote at Reasoning with Vampires:

Related Quote: “Twilight at least has the benefit of being fascinating in its awfulness, like a car wreck where you can’t tell if the primary cause was one driver’s cataracts, another driver’s onset of peanut allergy, the rockslide, the sudden appearance off a horde of rabid badgers, or the mysterious solar eclipse. Fifty Shades of Grey is just a drunk driver. Both are hailed as automotive revolutions.” — Audreyii


  1. I don't know if this has an impact on your decision, but - I've just downloaded it to my Kindle and will be getting to it right after I finish Laurent Binet's account of the assassination of Heydrich.

    And you are an ace reviewer anyway, but you are, indeed, especially ace when you hate the book. :-)

    1. Your Kindle didn't run away from you? I'm so afraid that if I download it, once The Machines take over, my Kindle will be like, "She down loaded Fifty Shades, yo. Do with her what you will."

  2. I don't think I can do it. What will happen is this, however: Cass will read it, you will read it and produce a stellar, scathing review that I will laugh over and LOVE...and then I will read it so I can at least have a conversation about it.

    *sits back to wait*

    *looks at huge reading list waiting on Kindle*

    *gets started on other books, so as to be ready*

  3. My Kindle wasn't having it - so I listened to it on YouTube (until they yanked it). My husband promptly demanded a divorce if he had to hear "oh my" or "my inner goddess did the merengue" again.

    I'm still cleaning up the ear wax.