Monday, April 23, 2012


I've been surrounded by pregnant people and people with kids lately, and I'm sort of surprised how un-envious I am of their growing families. I figured that my biological clock would turn on at some point, and I'd get baby fever and then my uterus would explode out my chest and start swallowing children or something. But it's not happening to me.

What I am jealous of are people who are in relationships. I really miss male companionship and kissing and all that fun stuff that comes when you have a person in your life. I get really upset with the women I know who are getting involved with men, and the irrational part of me thinks that they did it so easily and that it's not fair. The rational part of me knows that they have struggled just like I have, but the selfish part then steps in and wonders why they got lucky and I didn't.

I should also mention that I never go anywhere or do anything any more. I have a profile on a dating site, but I haven't checked in on it since before Thanksgiving. Realistically you could point out that I'm not doing anything proactive to meet someone. Realistically, you could also shut your freakin' pie hole, sanctimonious jerk. Stop judging me.

(that was a joke.)

(not funny?)

Anyway, it's hard being alone.

There's this guy...he's good looking and nice. I like him. But I don't like him that way. Even if I did, I think my flirting button is somehow broken, and I doubt I could send him any signals even if I wanted to.

I'm sort of pathetic over here.


  1. I'm going to step out on a limb and ask---

    How probable is it that your flirting button is broken/biological clock is on snooze because there's SO MUCH going on in your life? I mean, you're working AND going to school, and that's no easy task for anyone to juggle when *in* a relationship, let alone cultivating a new one. Maybe your mind just shelved it until a more convenient time?

    *has no idea what she's talking about*

    1. You're right, I could be having psychological blocks. Maybe I should talk to my counselor about this. I know when people like me go through times of high stress, our libido is the first thing to go, so you might just know what you're talking about.