Tuesday, July 31, 2012

So...you ended up on an STFU blog...

One of my friends is really into STFU Parents, and is often either commenting on their posts, or reposting to her Facebook page. I like this woman, she and I have similar senses of humor, and neither of us takes ourselves or anything else too seriously, so it's no wonder to me that I found myself enjoying STFU Parents.

There are other STFU blogs, too, for couples and religious people and a few others that I've found. None of them have the same sense of irony and ability to point out exactly what is ridiculous about a particular mommyjacking or comment as the writer of STFUP, though, so I always end up back there.

The thing is, I like kids. I may not want them myself, but I like them. I like my friend's kids and I'm excited for the half of my FB friends who are currently expecting/in the throes of new parenthood, etc. (Seriously, half of my friends decided to start breeding around the same exact time. It's really weird.)

So far, none of my friends have mommyjacked me or tried to explain how much different my life will be when I have kids (because I will have them, yanno. The power of Christ compels me or something.), so I'm happy with the parents I now have hanging around.

My friends are my friends for a reason. I like them. We have stuff in common. We enjoy each other. But I can't deny that some of my peeps take themselves too seriously. And I think when you go too serious, then that's when you start doing stuff that winds you up on an STFU blog.

Now, the couple's blog is really simple. If you consistently post about a person for three weeks, making them the center of your universe and then suddenly break up with them very publicly and go all sad panda for another three weeks before you hook up with someone else and start the cycle again, you will end up on STFU Couples. If you have conversations with your significant other on Facebook that you could easily be having on the privacy of your text messages, then you will end up on STFU Couples.

STFU Parents, though, is a different kettle of fish.

Are you bereating people for not showing up to your kid's first birthday that you rented a hall for? You belong on STFUP.

Are you going to barricade your door against visitors for the first six months of your child's life and you decide that the best way to send this information to those people is a Facebook post? STFUP.

Did someone make a loud noise during your child's nap time and you felt the best way to deal with it was to post a passive-aggressive note about it on your Facebook page? STFUP.

The people on STFUP have stopped being individuals and have wrapped their identity up in their children's identity. These are the people who think that their situation automatically makes them more special than anyone else. They are the people who think their kid's sore throat is more important than some guy's broken limb at an emergency room and will actually say something about it out loud where other people can hear them because they honestly believe that their kid is the most important thing in the universe ever. Who does the guy with the broken arm think he is, anyway?

I think that the people who get featured on STFUP can be summed up in the Gollum post. You have a perfectly normal person with a good sense of humor equating her child's looks to that of Gollum from LOTR. Does the parent really look at her child as a warped Hobbit who was corrupted by the power of the One Ring? Of course not! But come on, that's funny. Most people can laugh at that. But not the last commenter, Chelsea. She can't. I mean, the baby is beautiful! How dare you talk that way about your precious? (See what I did there?)

That is what STFUP is about. It's about that person who just can't let go for a second and say, "Yeah, that's funny I don't care who y'are."

There are many different types of posts on STFUP, but it all comes down to that humorless person who considers their child to be the most important part of their life and can't imagine why no one else feels that way.


  1. Thanks for your write-up and for reading the blog! I enjoyed reading your take on the site, and I totally agree with it. :)

    - B. from STFU, Parents

    1. Thanks so much! I had no idea you'd read this. Your blog totally makes me laugh every day, so thanks for that.