I know I should be posting more about Fifty Shades because I want to get it over with, but I have to re-read it at this point and make notes. I was making notes while I was reading at first, but then I had to give up because it was really breaking my concentration, so now I'm making posthumous notes on a second read. I'm not sure if my future posts will be as good because I'll have more information now, and it won't be as "real" as my previous posts, but I think I can get it funnier.
I interviewed a cat sitter last night. Chekhov consented to let the lady pet his ears and his cheeks, but watch the chin, woman. We aren't that closely acquainted yet. My bird loved her, though. Mostly because she spent her first ten minutes admiring him and saying how cute his face is. My bird is a sucker. I also predict that Chekhov will absolutely love this woman by the third day, if not before.
I read a really interesting article a week ago about children who present with psychopathic tendencies and the psychiatrists who are trying to intervene before these kids grow up to ruin people's lives. It was very thought-provoking, and it followed one family in particular who had three sons, and the eldest was the one with the presumed psychopathy. The reporter's observations were really chilling, like, the boy would get upset with his younger brother (who idolized him) about something, maybe a taken toy or taking the elder's game off of pause and affecting his score, etc., and the cold, calculating manner that the eldest would use in order to exact his revenge.
You think of kids as being more impulsive and less patient when it comes to retaliation, but this young seven-year-old boy bid his time and exacted his punishments in such a way as to try and deflect everyone from thinking he was taking revenge from the earlier infraction. When he realized that the reporter wasn't buying his act, he simply said, "As you see, I don't like my brother very much."
The worst part of the article, though, was in the comments section, when people actually started judging the parents for having more children after this one. I didn't get that. And people were liking their comments! As if it's any of their business! But it made me feel bad, because I thought that once about a family. They had six biological children, and all six had some sort of disability, including four with autism which is a statistical anomaly (Read: bullshit). My first thought was, "Munchhausen by Proxy" (probably correct) and my second thought was, "After the second, they really should have stopped. That's just wrong." Was my thought right? It feels right. It still does. That doesn't MAKE it right, but it still feels right. But I can't think that about the other parents. They have a child who will more than likely bring them heartache later in life, unless this early prevention works of course, and they deserve two kids who might actually make them happy. But what about the kids? They have to deal with an abusive older brother. How much can he hurt them? How much will their lives change because of this kid? And yet, at the end of the day, it's the parent's decision to have more.
Speaking of narcissists, my dad drunk dialed me the other day and then proceeded to tell me everything my brother has been doing since about October of last year, and no matter how much I tried to explain to him that I've actually seen and talked to my brother regularly since that time and know exactly what he's been up to, my dad just kept talking at me and telling me what was going on which was ridiculous. I mean, he called me while I was vising my brother at Christmas, and he kept getting upset that the baby was "talking" while he was trying to talk to me, so he had to know that I'd be aware of what my brother is doing! Sometimes, I get really mad at my mom for having children with him, and sometimes I get mad at God for allowing it to happen.
Anyway, that brings me to my trip that I'm about to take in a month (!!!!!!!). I have booked the plane and the rooms, now I just need to find us a car. It's my niece's first birthday! I can't wait.
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There are times when I look at L., compared to D., and I wonder. It's night and day--where she is gentle and silly and loving, he's distant and harsh and angry. He's intolerant of her, and lashes out at the least provocation.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet...there are the times when he asks if she has left with B., in the mornings, because he wants to say goodbye for the day. Or when he wants her to come in his room to sleep, and they sit and play. Or he comes in to kiss her goodnight. Then I remember that they ARE brother and sister, and he IS the oldest (and spoiled more, for having been alone for a while). That's when I can breathe, again.
The child from the article, however? That gives me chills. Furthermore, no one would have a right to judge the parents, because it doesn't sound as though this child is so significantly older that mom and dad would've picked up on his differences in time to decide on another child! What we attribute to one thing can turn out to be another, in time. I presume L. is acting out as a "typical" big brother being annoyed by his little sister. Does that mean there's nothing underlying his behavior? No. He could still have some sort of issues.
Besides, if we based our future progeny on the existing one(s), I would never have had D. to start with--not after all the speech problems L. had. Look what I would've missed! So no, I can't blame those parents.
The article actually explained how close the children were I'm age, and that it took seven years for the mom to figure out what was going on, so it was supremely judgmental of the commenters. One guy even said he didn't understand breeders need to have more children, thereby ensuring that darwinism will prevail.
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