Great Moments in Fiction

Last year or so (I forget when), I read and reviewed the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad story "In the Lair of the White Worm" by Bram Stoker , and I'm sort of trying to decide what I want to do with it.

On one hand, I'd love to re-write the story, and fix what is broken with it. On the other hand, I have two other books, plus a parody of Twilight partially written and floating around in my head, and I feel like I should finish at least one of those before I begin something else.

And then I think that NaNoWriMo is coming up, and what better way to do it, get the words written, and finish, than rewriting an abysmally apalling novel? And yet, I fell that's cheating. On the other hand, I'd be changing the book so much as to make it nearly unrecognizable from its former incarnation.

Plus, I'm trying to pass college algebra with a B or better, so there's that.

Must ponder.

Getting closer

I met with my college counselor last night, and the good news is that I only have 12 more classes to take! She and I talked for a long time, and I told her my fears and wishes, and she listened and helped me out. We both agreed on the fact that I need to stop working at my government job and start working at a vet's office. And that starting either next semester or the semester afterwards, I need to be in college full time.

I told my mom that she needs to wrap her head around the fact that I'm going to quit my job probably at the end of the year. She looked worried, but nodded. We have a few plans that we are going to implement between now and then, so hopefully we can keep everything on track.

Okay, I'm getting excited.

Getting caught up with the Kartrashians

So, there are parts of pop culture that I could care less about, like Twilight (movies, actors, and books) or the Harry Potter movies, or the Real Housewives of Anywhere, but the Kartrashians are one area that I am sort of creepily drawn to. Sort of like how my mom is obsessed with serial killers.

Anyway, I don't really watch them too often. I know the Real Doll one got married recently, and that the Tiny One wants another baby, but doesn't want to marry her douchy baby daddy, and that the Tall One is awesome, but we all knew that. I thought I'd put down in words my thoughts on what I've read on trashy websites like D-Listed and the like:

Kim's Marriage/Wedding: Okay, I have no interest in watching the wedding of a girl who totally thinks she's on par with Kate Middleton (hint: she's not), but I will comment on what I saw of her relationship with Kris Humphries. I think that, even if this arrangement has been negotiated by their respective PR people, they both truly believe that they're infatuated, or even in love with each other. Also, when Kim smiles, she usually looks like the plastic Real Doll that she is, but when she's with Kris, I've seen some genuine goofy smiles, and I have to say that she's actually pretty when she smiles like a human being and doesn't mug like Posh Beckham. And Kris is fine with her insane, completely not normal family, so that says a lot. I do think that he's in for a rude awakening once the honeymoon is over and he realizes that girls who spend 75,000.00 on earrings and then stupidly wear them out of the country are higher maintenance than a Mazarati, and probably a lot less fun to ride, but I can't say he's not going into this thing with his eyes wide open.

Do I think he's a fame lamprey to Kim's shark? Yes, totally. And when they inevitably divorce, I'm sure she'll be the one to come out on top, but until then, it'll be fun to watch. If I ever get to watch them again, which I doubt since I'm about to shut down my cable.


Pimp Mama Kris: I love this nickname for her. She is totally a pimp to her famewhore family. I mean, Rob broke down and told his mom he was tired of being a loser, and that he wanted to use his BS in business now, and maybe work on his MS. Aaaaaand now he's on Dancing With The Stars. Because no one in this family can actually do real work. And the other little famewhores, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall and Kylie are all like, "Woot! We got advertising campaigns!"

I mean, I have to hand it to Kris Jenner, she really did teach her children that making a buck is making a buck is making a buck, and has not given them any sort of filter or self-awareness or embarrassment at what they do. Sears wants an endorsement deal? Sure! Why hold out for Macy's or Nordstrom? Heck, they're too busy with Madonna and Jessica Simpson. No, Sears is the way to go!

Kourtney and her Douchebag Baby Daddy: I don't know why this girl doesn't let him go. He's a leach. He's a parasite. He's an alcoholic. Not that I think she's such a great human being, but at least she has a job that makes money, and she has her house and everything, and owns stores (which, shouldn't the Kartrashian Sears line be in conflict with the Dash stores? Just saying). She is a viable human being. He's a douche bag. I can't help but think she's keeping him around as a sperm donor. That's sad.

Khloe, AKA Sasquatch: I think Sasquatch is a horrible nickname for Khloe. She's the only one who seems to have any sort of self-awareness in this family, and if her marriage to Lamar Odom is fake, then why did she refuse to leave him for a week while the rest of her family went to paradise? I actually have no idea about their dynamic, so I won't comment on it, but I think it's unfair to call her names just because she seems to be a normal size compared to her sisters. If Kim is too short for runway work, then she's under 5'8", but the younger girl...Kendall? is able to do runway work, and she's about the same height as Khloe, so they're probably in the 5'9"-5'10" range, plus Khloe is always putting on six-inch Louboutin's, so who knows her true height?

So, yeah, I'll call Kim a Real Doll, but I won't call Khloe sasquatch, because I think it's mean and unfair. Hey, if Kim wants to look less plastic, she totally knows how. She just doesn't want to!

So, now you are caught up on the Kartrashians. You're welcome.

Classy

Last night's algebra class was so much better! The night was cooler to begin with, and whatever problem with the air conditioner seemed to be fixed.

Last Thursday night got cancelled because there was a huge power outage from San Diego to Mission Viejo, and the school got hit, so I spent an hour at the gym with my mom, walking on the treadmill, and then doing some yoga. It was a nice break, but man did it make going back to school difficult last night! Anyway, good times. We had to restructure the class because of the missed day, and it means a lot of homework this weekend, but that's okay.

The stretching

I came to a conclusion last night. It's probably something that everyone else in the world has figured out, but I at thirty-something am just realizing: the people in your life have to stretch you. They have to make you more. They have to pull you out of your comfort zone, and you need to do the same for them.

Looking over the past, three friends who have gotten married in the past year, all of them are so different because of the people they married. The people they married challenged them, and trust me, they challenged the people they married. I can't get over the changes they've made in their lives, and that just one person did it.

Last night, I went to a swing dancing class with my best girl C and her dad. Her dad is recently divorced, and has met A Very Nice Lady who likes to swing dance. Before, when Dad was with Mom, and they pretended everything was peachy, Dad was very nearly clinically depressed. He was always shy, I'm told, but apparently marriage to Mom made him worse. He would shut himself in his study, or in a corner during parties. Last night at swingdance, I saw Dad in a whole new light. He was smiling. He danced with me, and we were terrible at it, but we laughed. Very Nice Lady smiled at him and encouraged him. There was a tiny, tiny baby being passed around (so tiny!), and it was just the most relaxed I've seen him.

I can't imagine how life would be different if Dad had met someone else. C was adopted, so it's possible she would still have ended up with him, but his personality, the relationship he now has with his children, would all have been different if he had married someone else.

It puts me in mind of Jane Austen's Emma, one of my favorite books. The Omniscient Narrator asserts that if Elton had married Harriet instead of Augusta, he would have been a better man because Harriet would have put him in different society than Augusta did. Not only that, but Harriet was humble, and believed she had room to grow. Augusta was convinced that she was at the peak of society, and that she had nowhere else to go, so Elton stagnated. His opinions became a parrot of his wife's and her acquaintance.

I can't help but wonder if I am stagnating. Sometimes, probably. But my friends...my friends challenge me. They make me do things like swingdancing and painting and other stuff that I happen to be bad at, which swingdancing pretty much encompasses.

One step closer

I just made an appointment with a counsellor at my current college so I can talk to her about transferring to my dream college. I also printed out my academic plan and looked at the many classes I have finished, and the credits that I have earned towards my transfer.

I've done a lot. It's been four years, but I always felt like I was getting nowhere fast. And now, I guess I'm seeing a little perspective. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, yo!

So, last night at algebra...

My college is an older one. It started small, and has been growing for several decades, so some buildings are a lot newer than others. The oldest building is now called the "Science and Math" building, or SM. S & M if you're nasty. Some of the rooms are indoors, and some are out. It's a three-story building, and it's old and dirty. My current class is an outside class, and last night, the air conditioner gave up on us. Outside, the temperature was about 95. Inside, it was about 105. We opened the doors, which maybe lowered the heat to 103. I lost the ability to sweat about an hour in.

Of course all of the vending machines were out of water.

I swear my professor lectured nonstop for two and a half hours. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. The chalk dust swirled around our makeshift fans, causing all of us to sneeze. "Bless You" was being repeated often. At the break, I went outside into the humidity and heat, which at 8:10pm was not lessened at all from earlier in the day.

My only saving grace was that I had my hair in a ponytail.

Thursday, I'm wearing a skirt.

y=mx+b

So, I've already noted that my algebra teacher was not who I wanted/was expecting, and I hope I noted that even so, she's pretty cool and a very good teacher. It turns out that she's married to the guy I had wanted as my professor, so I guess they both must have the same teaching styles or something. I like her, and even though she's a little too enthusiastically "OMG, let's all be friends and get to know each other!", she's cool.

I was just looking over my academic plan for transferring to Cal Poly, and I'm amazed at how close I am to being *there*. I just e-mailed Cal Poly and asked for a campus tour date. If they don't answer me by tomorrow, I'm going to call. I hate being called, so I try to e-mail first...

I'm actually starting to get both scared and excited. On the one hand, I totally believe that I can get to my goal. On the other, I'm scared to death that it's never going to happen. I also wonder if my ambition is putting other areas of my life on hold, such as being friends with people my own age and not early twenty-somethings at a community college, and meeting boys. Lots of boys. I miss having boys in my life.

But life is a journey. Nelson Mandela said that you can rest when you make it to the top of a hill, and look around at where you've been, and where you want to go, and that the resting doesn't mean you're giving up. You can call each day a lifetime of its own, I suppose, and each phase of your life is the same. It's a time and a process, and Mr. Mandela is right that you should rest and see what you've acheived, and be able to---I don't know?--mourn?---what you've gone through and lost and gained, and review the parts of you that had to die, and the parts that had to evolve and expand in order to bring you here. Awareness begins with every equation being set to zero. We move.