Packin' it all in

So, I've found an apartment for me and my mom. I've gotten us boxes from the U-Haul place right next to our current complex. I've packed up the yellow pansy china that we never use, but are going to this time.

Fanny May is being just terrible to us. Well, I don't know if it's Fanny May the company, or just the jackhole that my mom's been dealing with. They gave us a timeline to get out, and we accepted. If we agreed to leave before the 2nd of February, we got 2,000.00, which would pay for the deposits at the apartment complex.

Well, this jackhole, Danny, decided that my mom's been "uncooperative" with him, and that he's not going to give her any money.

This is why homeowners rub feces on walls and blow up microwaves, Mortgage Companies of the world! Maybe you guys should look into what your dealers are doing!

My mom thinks he's just going to pocket the money, and I think she's probably right. She's tried calling people at Fanny May, but she just keeps getting voicemail and no one calls her back, so I guess they're sort of giving her the shaft, too. If one of your employees was stealing from you, wouldn't you want to know?

I've made out a budget for the year, and if I go twenty dollars in either direction, it could spell tragedy for me.

And I got a ticket.

On the plus side, I won't have to clean out the house that I'm vacating, because I'm leaving everything I don't want behind.

And I'm sort of tempted to smear some feces on the wall.

Falling apart at the seams

My mom has turned into one of the many, many people who have been foreclosed on in the past year. We are going to be out of our house by the 30th of January (OMG), and I'm really stressed out and upset, and I'm pretty sure she feels worse.

When I decided to go to college, I moved back home thinking I'd be secure.

Okay, now you need to probably turn away, because I'm going to start spewing forth some self pity right now, and it's not going to be cool or nice or even decent, and it's certainly sort of mean to my mom to spew this self-pity, but this is how I'm feeling.

I have a depressive disorder, and as such, I get into really dark moods a lot. I don't shut down and hide in a corner. No. I get angry. With everyone and everything. I am so angry right now, and it's been weeks since I've taken my medicine. This morning, I totally cut someone off and then fooled around with them on the road until they were as mad as me. I totally want to yell at everyone. I don't want to work. I fully acknowledge that I'm about thisclose to turning into one of the homeless people who stands outside and yells all day, because that's what I feel like doing. I suddenly have to start paying high rent again when I didn't. My plans of getting out of debt fast are being put on hold. My life is being turned upside down, and it sucks. I hate it. I took my pills so that I can make it home and to school without killing someone or just randomly ramming into a stranger's car because it might feel good.

I haven't been jogging, and I know that's got a lot to do with it. I really take out my frustrations on the field.

I just want to scream and cry and yell and get everyone as angry as I am.